fight/love

she called me too much today
not enough yesterday
cried when the plains of my patience were flooded
and was barren like the desert when i needed a cool friend
it's not the end
even though the days since we spoke last
outnumber the days we've talked

we loved like girls
rigorous and conditional
she hated inconsistencies
hated that i smoked cigarettes because of boys
calmed me when i drank too much and cussed too loud
collected buckets of tears, each labeled with new boys' names
i hated when she acted yet didn't listen

we fought in the night
in silence and secrets
in resentment hanging over each others heads
like trap doors holding spears
aimed at an intruder's heart
i hated that her beefs were old and rotten meats
that had been thrown out years ago
why did she go to junkyards
follow past transgressions to swap meets
find the worst of me i discarded
and bring them to my doorstep?
she hated my jeans and t-shirt attitude toward love
i was too casual

we fought and loved but always remembered to love
but now im not too sure
that love was at the root of our love
i passively pulled
she aggressively tugged
at the right to have dominion over one another

i called her so much one day
my hoarse voice was muted
she answered so much the next
my ears are bruised
i don't know if either one of us
is dignified or polished enough to be christened with the title
"best friend"
compromises sometimes are like
answers to tests
when you don't know the question