A Song For You

"Donna, I hope you don't still hate me. Please give me a call one day, I want us to be friends." The email was brief, and my ex-boyfriend kind of had a point. It had been at least two years since we had last communicated. And as tumultous as our ending was, I'm not the one who holds grudges. I've forgiven a lot more for a lot worst crimes.

But there was something about this situation I could not let go. More than the other chick. More than the embarrassment of being cheated on. More than the months of being led on. it was that song. My ex wrote a song about me, and put it on his MySpace page for everyone to hear. Okay, he wasn't T-Pain, so it wasn't for everyone to hear. But it was public enough to tear even more holes into any fabric of a friendship that still existed between us.

The gist of the song? I love this girl, but I just can't stop having sex with her. And she uses sex to keep me around. In his tale, summarizing the end of our relationship, he depicted me not only as manipulative...but desperate. He said, I used my body and my head to control his heart. I forced him to betray his heart for what his dick wanted. And all of this was set to a sample of Let's Stay Together by Al Green.

On a scale from 1 to 10, my feelings for this boy were a solid 6. So though the actual situation felt pretty horrendous, the calculation behind totally embarassing me afterwards is what really hurt. It's one thing to bad mouth an ex in the heat of a conversation. It's quite another to write a song, produce a beat, buy studio time to record it and then upload it onto MySpace.

So for that discretion, I'm finding it hard to reply to emails and random text messages from him...I can't even produce fake smiles as my friends casually mention this fella. For immortalizing my pain and making me look like a needy broad, I don't know if he can ever been forgiven.