Sumthin Like a Hippie

I don't know what I want to do with myself. I could put all my talents in a hat, pick one, and be for sure that I wouldn't want to do that for the rest of my life. I can't really commit to anything past tomorrow. I'm feeling flighty yet grounded.

Once again, I don't know what I want to do with myself. Well..the only thing I'm sure of at this point is that I want to get married. I do have a host of things I know I don't want to do:

1. Focus so much on money
2. Work the majority of time
3. Be so attached to wordly things
4. Be committed to things instead of people
5. Become a corporate/nightlife/working drone

Basically, I want to be a hippie. It's not that I'm anti-establishment. I am a firm believer in rules and order and capitalism. I am just not real big on conforming right now. I think a lof of things are stupid and unneccesary for human living. I don't believe that my life is designed to be this boring and self-centered.

I ask God and the universe for truth and direction. The only person I am concered about disappointing at this point is my future husband. I can't have so many other attachments. Doing what is good for me will in turn be better for my future family and whomever I am supposed to touch in life.

I don't think that my current jobs and commitments are bad. I don't think they are silly and stupid. I just don't think they are for me. Some other person could fall right into these rolls and be successful and sure. I think I am making everyone else unhappy by my wishy-washyness.

In her song, Self-Love, Jaguar Wright says, 'If you don't like your job, why don't you quit, stop being a bitch and love yourself!" I just don't want to be a bitch anymore.